I wanna bring you to show and tell
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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