At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
