The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
