i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
