so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
