You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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