I haven't been this sober since birth.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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