i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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