So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
