The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
