That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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