A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Randomize
