you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
