Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
