Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
