News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
