we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
you had me at cake vodka
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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