So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Boobs speak an international language.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
