He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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