I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
