Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize