so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
