once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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