ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
