lets start a swedish sibling band together
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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