Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Randomize
