The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
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