I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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