I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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