I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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