Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
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