I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
