i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
