We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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