Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
