The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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