dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize