Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You pole danced in your parka.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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