I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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