I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
