so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
