then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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