Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
