the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize