it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
