winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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