May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
