Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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