i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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