She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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