and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
He? As in you personified your dick?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
