your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
