so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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