just tell him i said nine months
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
