first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Randomize