At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
