She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
The beer is more important than you right now.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Rumble strips road head = magical
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
