hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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