I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
