Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
