11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
