That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
He did a backflip because drugs
Come on in and take your pants off
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