I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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