ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
