Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
It was confusing and full of hummus
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
