so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
