Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
