Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
