hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
