can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
