I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
