I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
