Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
