Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize